Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops