Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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kieran scott has a huge back

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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a horse nibbled a baby

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops