Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops