Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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9/11.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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