1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

I died shortly after writing this.

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

Vicky is my best friend.

Whats an Anti Joke

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

This is a joke

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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