- Anti Joke

there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

what's brown and sticky A stick!

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

its snowing on mount fuji

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.