How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Sac

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Religion.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Cows are land manatees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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