Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops