What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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