A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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10inch nice

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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