"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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JUST KIDDING^

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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