Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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knock knock There's no door

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops