noah is a scrub jungle

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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A farmer was robbed and complained to the sheriff's department that he suspected it was a black man behind the crime. "How do you know this for sure?" The sheriff asked him. He replied, "I chased him into the night, it was dark and I couldn't see him"

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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