A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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