A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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