What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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obama's promises

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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* anti-punchline

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops