Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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