A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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