Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Fart

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Why was the woman?

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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