You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Get off my porch.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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