A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops