Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops