Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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i love to lick...

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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Justin's hair

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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