Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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