Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a pornstar comes early to a party

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Elizabeth Warren

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops