Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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a woman votes!

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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