- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

No, Trinidad.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Knock knock! Who's there? Fck. Fck who? F*ck you.

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

cancer

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

No, Trinidad.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

cancer

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock! Who's there? Fck. Fck who? F*ck you.