A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

TIMMAH!

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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