- Anti Joke

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

haha

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.