What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Muslim athletes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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