A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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whats a willy? -brock

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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