What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Jerry.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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69

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Neither have I

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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