A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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