Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

kieran scott has a huge back

My children are huge mistakes.

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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