Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops