When is a door not a door? Never.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Help I'm being raped!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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