A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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This is not a joke.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Come In!

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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24

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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