My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

Rick santorum

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

My penis is big... not.

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

what is a bracket? a bracket

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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