Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Knock Knock *opens the door*

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

Hello.

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

full house

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...