how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

thumb_up thumb_down +33

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops