How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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24

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops