What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops