One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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EGGPLANT

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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Loner.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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