A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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you lose.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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black people

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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