- Anti Joke

quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

What do you call a black man? A person

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

Women's rights.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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