roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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long in the tooth!

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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