what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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long in the tooth!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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tom pauling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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