Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Tell you something funny.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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