What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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NEVER

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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