Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

troll----> hahaha---->

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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