What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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my mind's eye?

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Last guy is a Joke thief Love, T.R.

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AIDS

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Women's rights

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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