A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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