How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WHO WANTS SOW????

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops