What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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drugs.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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